We all know relationships have lots of frustrating moments and even though you love your partner dearly, they sometimes make you want to scream and pull your hair out! According to Psychology Today, expert Jeffrey Bernstein, the ‘S’ word that can cause a huge fight or escalate a small disagreement into a huge brewing argument is the word ‘should.’
Coulda, shoulda, woulda right? Maybe not… According to Jeffrey the word ‘should’ in an argument tends to have tons of power.
“We tend to “should” all over our partners, and even if we think we’re doing so in the privacy of our own minds, it can come out in our tone or actions. Thinking “should” about someone you love or being on the receiving end of “should” creates negative energy and, over time, can be toxic for any relationship, especially a loving one” says Jeffrey. Rather than using the ‘S’ word Jeffrey Bernstein has some alternatives that may actually work and help you in an argument:
“Instead of, ‘You should know how I feel,’ try (thinking and saying) ‘I would like you to please hear me out on this.’
Instead of ‘You shouldn’t bring that up,’ try (thinking and saying) ‘I would like to consider what you’re saying. Please let me sit with it for a little while before I respond.’
Well there you go… Next time you’re in a heated argument with your partner, forget the ‘S’ word and try these easy strategies and maybe it’ll lighten up the bad energy.
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