Stupid News – 09/27/13
You know when you’re running windows and the computer freezes? Like the machines here at CBS… that NEVER work. You know how you hit CONTROL-ALT-DELETE? In an interview with Bill Gates this week, he said, quote, “It was a mistake. We could’ve had a single button [to restart the computer], but the guy who did the IBM keyboard design didn’t want to give us our single button.” So they had to pick a combination.
In 1976, a man named Aaron Fechter invented WHAC-A-MOLE. Well, he is still inventing… because yesterday he BLEW UP a warehouse trying to invent an experimental COOKING FUEL. Part of the warehouse COLLAPSED, the warehouse… completely destroyed. Aaron got out safely and no injuries reported.
A Vatican Cardinal says Jesus Tweeted before it was popular because he used short phrases to deliver messages. He also said Jesus had a lot of followers, but like a jerk, he never followed anyone back.
In your MOST confusing story of the day… a man who say another guy buying a bunch of disposable cell phones CONFRONTED him about being a DRUG DEALER. Then he decided to claim HE was a COP and demanded the guy’s drugs. You following? Well, as it turns out, the guy buying the phones was… you guessed it… an UNDERCOVER COP. Charges are now pending for impersonating a police officer.
Here’s a mother of the year candidate. Monday, a 31-year-old woman and her two young sons were arrested after one of her kids used a BIKE to beat up two men. The argument? Over her 11-year-old asking for a CIGARETTE. Nice to see you keeping it classy Ohio.
The new iPhone operating system brought several new and much needed features, unfortunately, the look with the floating apps is making people SICK. A message thread on Apple’s forums has become a venting ground for queasy and frustrated users. One user says “It hurts my eyes and makes me dizzy. So annoying that we can’t downgrade!!!!” Another writes, “I had severe vertigo the minute I started using my ipad with ios 7. Apple did not respond to ABC News’ request for comment.
A 55-year-old in Florida was arrested for assaulting a 75-year-old at a Laundromat. The 75 year old had stolen her dryer.
Best story of the day? Meredith Fitzmaurice entered a half-marathon in Ontario as a training run for a full marathon. Half-way through she missed the turn-off and continued on the full marathon course. Eventually she figured it out and noticed she was the front-runner in the women’s category. She ended up winning and ultimately qualified for the Boston marathon.
A guy in California had the worst day EVER. That’s after getting a flat, which is when some other guys ROBBED him at gubpoint, which is why the cops had to IMPOUND his car as evidence. So far… no arrest’s
Have you ever her of Krokodil? It’s what drug users are now doing. You mix codeine with gas or paint thinner and INJECT IT. One side effect? ROTTING FLESH. Yea… good luck with that.
And finally researchers now say Omega 3 may not improve your memory. Forgot where I heard that.