Stupid News – 04/25/13

Sarah Pepper

Every morning at 7:05 we bring you all the news that is stupid. It is stupid. It is news. That is why we call it Stupid News.

Let’s kick things off with an interesting way to cut down on theft. According to a new study by Newscastle University… criminals get freaked out by pictures of peoples EYES. The study, places a poster of a man’s eyes with the slogan “We Are Watching You” over a bike rack on it’s campus. The result, 62% drop in bike thefts. The logic is criminal’s think they are being watched.

Got to give it up to Obama for perhaps the BEST WAY I have ever heard for discouraging your daughters from getting tattoos. He told his, quote, “if you ever get a tattoo, mommy and me will get the exact same tattoo in the same place. And we’ll go on YouTube and show it off as a family tattoo.” Sounds great! I just hope they don’t call his bluff and get a tramp stamp.

It’s prom time… hope you saved. According to Visa, the cost to go to prom? 1,139 bucks. Interesting that families who make less will spend 100 bucks MORE. Also single parents will spend almost twice as much as married parents.

An update from a story I had a couple of weeks ago now. It’s on the guys deported from the United Arab Emirates for being, quote, “Too GOOD LOOKING.” Police were afraid that women could fall for them so they kicked them out of the country. Well, the picture of one of the dudes has finally been found! He’s a photographer/ actor / poet and, yes, he’s pretty handsome.

Got to give it up for this next man’s hustle. A 22 year old has been busted for get this… prostituting WHILE on break at his Walmart job. His clients would find him on Craigslist and meet him in the Walmart bathroom DURING HIS BREAK.

Fellas, if your wife’s friends are hotter then my wife’s, the you need this new app. It’s called Pikinis and it finds pics of your FB friends in their… you guessed it… bikinis.
A woman in South Carolina is in the news for beating up her boyfriend… for denying her popcorn. Yup, alcohol was involved. Apparently the couple had been drinking… ALL DAY..

And let’s end with probably one of the best apology notes ever. It’s from a thief who returned a bike and said he was, quote, “Sorry and White Girl Wasted.” He also left a coupon for a free chocolate lava crunch cake from Domino’s Pizza. You sir, can steal my bike any day.

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